Shruti's Wedding

A lot has happened in the last few days! I left Behea last Sunday, packed up, sold all our stuff, and moved out of Patna with Jeff on Thursday, spent two-ish days in Allahabad for Shruti's wedding, and now we're in the Delhi office for the last few hours before we board our flight to the US! We're going to write proper final posts when we're back home, but for now, a quick description of Shruti's wedding.

Shruti was Jeff's Project Assistant in Patna, and she just had her wedding ceremony in Allahabad, where her new husband, Viduria, is from. It was remarkably different from Mihika's Bengali wedding that we went to in December, although if you compare them both to American weddings, they'll seem much more similar.

Like all Indian weddings, it was a multi-day affair, with more ceremonies than we could keep a handle on (and honestly than I think the bride and groom knew about, too!). There were a bunch of smaller rituals taking place, but I'll focus on the four major ones we were aware of: on Friday, the Sacred Thread for her brother and the Sangeet, and on Saturday, the garland-exchange and the actual wedding ceremony. I'm sure there are proper names for all of these things, but I could barely follow what was going on, so I'm impressed I'm able to sort them out...

Because Shruti is the oldest child in her family, before the wedding ceremony took place, her brother underwent a ritual to take on the responsibilities of the family  called the Sacred Thread ceremony (or Upanayana). From what I could tell, he symbolically collects wisdom and resources from his family, dressed up in the traditional garb of a student.  He walked around the ceremony site carrying two big sacks that were filled with grains, fruit and some small cash by family members.

The next event was the Sangeet, which we were really excited about, since it's one of the highlights of weddings for a lot of people. Basically, it's a huge dance party, which can take different forms for different families. In some cases, it's structured as a contest between the two families, who each perform choreographed moves telling the love story of the couple (and other stories as well) - this is how Mihika described her Sangeet. Shruti's Sangeet was quite different - Viduria's family had a professional-quality stage, with a lights show, sound system and recording equipment that could rival any concert I've been to. Different family members and friends performed songs and dances, and we left well before the festivities were over. Sorry there's no photos of it! They also had a full dinner served right next to the performance area and a full bar of Mocktails - we're going to look so stingy by comparison…

Everyone spent the next morning and afternoon recovering from the Sangeet, and before the next set of ceremonies, I mentioned in passing that it would be fun to wear a sari (I'd only brought a salwar suit). This remark took on a life of its own and I got spirited away to Shruti's friends' room where they basically dressed me up like an Indian Barbie, complete with a bright turquoise sari, bangles, and makeup (including eyeliner, definitely a first). The sari took over half an hour to put on, and this was by experts, so I have a newfound appreciation for all of the villagers I've met who wear them every day.

At around 8pm, we headed over to the next major ceremony, which was when Shruti and Viduria exchanged wedding garlands. Jeff and I came a little early and we were glad that we did because we got to watch Viduria arrive in the most elaborate manner I've ever seen - proceeded by two soldiers on horses, riding in a flower-bedecked antique car, surrounded by family and friends in super fancy outfits with turbans and swords, some of them holding silk umbrellas. Apparently he has some royal heritage, which appeared to be in full display. When we got a chance to talk to him later, we discovered that he's a really nice, down-to-earth guy, so he must have been as overwhelmed by the pomp and circumstance as the rest of us were.

Then Shruti arrived and they exchanged garlands in the middle of the ornately decorated stage, on a smaller platform which actually rotated! The better to see every angle of the exchange, I suppose. Thankfully Shruti has a lot of experience sitting and smiling from her work with TV journalism, since she got to use that skill extensively throughout the ceremonies. Even more delicious food was served at this event, and then eventually we went back to the wedding ceremony venue (also where Shruti's family and we were staying) for the final set of ceremonies. Again, I'm not totally clear on what was happening, but hopefully the photos were taken during representative moments. And we got to take part in stealing Viduria's shoes - apparently it's tradition for the bride's friends to steal the groom's shoes during the ceremony so he has to hunt for them afterward and bribe the friends to get them back. Sweet.

The ceremony was actually still going on when we had to leave for the railway station at 2am, so we never got a chance to get a photo with Shruti, but we got plenty of photos of her! All in all it was completely over the top, which I think achieved its goal, and gave us plenty of opportunity to be grateful for how much simpler our own wedding will be.